Allegiance
by petulantpoet
Summary: The hours following the death of Charity Burbage. Sometimes we all need to be reminded we are loved in dangerous times. A/U in respect Severus and Narcissa were more than mere aquaintances.


So I was thinking about the night Severus was forced to watch the fate of poor Charity Burbage. I quite clearly remember the scene from the movie as he tops the stairs and sees the atrocity before him. Knowing Severus as I do I picked up the slightest hesitation and often wondered if it had gone unnoticed or perhaps noticed by just one particular person. Having thought these things and twisted and turned them as I do I felt compelled to address the situation. I could not imagine that Narcissa did not notice his hesitation as only she could know him as equally as I, and knowing Narcissa as I do I could not imagine her not bringing it to his attention. Alas I am forced to plead for reviews...they feed the depravity.

**Allegiance**

The door automatically opened as soon as the house sensed her presence, it was as if the cottage gave a collective sigh at the prospect she just might be able to comfort its owner.

He looked up as she entered the room and hovered within the doorway. The darkness of his study had a calming effect she always felt so drawn to. But this time was different, this time she came because he almost gave them away. This time, for the smallest fraction of a second she thought he just might flinch.

"I could hear your thoughts you know, when you topped the stairs…they were practically screaming across the room." She paused momentarily, "Could you hear mine as well?"

"How could I not, they echoed within my mind incessantly…"_Don't flinch, whatever you do, don't flinch."_

"Well then let's just hope no one else heard either of us then." An arched eyebrow punctuated her words.

"So I see now, you doubt my abilities; think perhaps I can longer keep it together. Perhaps in fact you think I've gotten to old and tired for the games we are forced to play?"

"Not at all, it's your humanity which causes my concern. I was worried."

He looks away; he can't face her and witness the suffering he causes her written across her face. "You worry too much."

"It's in my nature that way." She says with a slight smile. How many times had he said those exact words? It was always in his character to be on watch and alert, always one step ahead of everyone else.

Seconds pass before his next omission. "I heard what else you said as well. I wasn't sure if I had been meant too- I didn't know if those particular _feelings_ were supposed to be directed at me."

He turns back to face her then, he needs to see her eyes when she answers him, if in fact she does. "Everything is always meant for you. There has never been a time when that wasn't true."

"Then why tell me that- of all things, why reserve those particular sentiments for me?" His voice is low as always but she can sense the cruel irony beneath just waiting to run her through. "_A man that has a wife and child has given his life over to destiny?"_

She looks down as he spits the words back at her.

"Well then, how fortunate for me that I have neither to contend with- wouldn't you agree?

"That hurt- did you mean it too?" He turns away again; the lover in him can not tolerate her suffering.

"Would you like the truth or what you want to hear?" Still he looks away; still he can not face her.

"I'm not sure, just how hard will the truth hurt?"

He has to tell her now; he can not let her leave without knowing. In his world there are no guarantees of tomorrows. He will not let her leave thinking she does not matter. "Not nearly as hard as wishing all these years I did have a wife and child for destiny to dangle before me."

She sees him then, the real him. The one she can not help but love. The one man who she knows can potentially save them all. The one man she has given her allegiance, the one man who holds her destiny within the palm of his hand and she isn't even sure if he is even aware. She thinks perhaps he may be, perhaps secretly even hopes. His words are enough to hold on too, enough to give her all the courage she needs to face yet another day.

She smiles at him and he looks away, pained and tormented. He knows he is loved, he knows she will always worry; it too is in her nature. He knows she will always be there to remind him, to tell him when he starts to slip- to remind him that whatever he does he can never flinch.


End file.
